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Dating customs in Manor

Sure, good manners and chivalry will never go out of style—but that doesn't mean we need to subscribe to the same dating rules our parents did. If you want to share a smooch the first night you meet, have at it.

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While most Romanians speak at least one foreign language, usually English, knowing some basic words in Romanian will really impress your date.

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Don’t talk about sensitive topics in the early dating period

Lady Mary between two suitors, one newly wealthy in business, the other inheritor of the Downton land and estate. Carson, the butler of Downton Abbey, in a tone that brooks no argument. Lady Mary marries Matthew, inheritor to the Downton fortunes.

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For well-heeled Edwardians, marriage was a practical arrangement. Lady Edith dines alone with a married man. A unique set of rules also governed a hierarchy within the servant class itself. Edwardians never, for example, shook hands. That would be, as the English say, tiresome.

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As country houses in England fell into financial straits and were demolished or abandoned, the old, formal ways of life they represented were replaced by modern norms determined by a new and daring generation. These affairs, with their abundance of married chaperons, provided appropriate places for men and women to meet one another without causing scandal. Although interactions in England had been governed by these rules for centuries, the total social upheavals caused by war and industrialization wiped them away.

Take a look at this list taken from instructions for giving a formal afternoon tea in —it just scratches the surface of expectations and norms for this period. A tall or particularly good-looking footman would even earn a higher salary than the other members of the household staff.

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The order in which servants sat at their own downstairs dining room table reflected this microcosm of the class system. Nearly always well-dressed young men, the footmen represented crisp formality and quiet grandeur on behalf of the entire estate. While the penniless Lord Gillingham—who comes from a well-established bloodline—would be viewed as a more appropriate match for Lady Mary Crawley in Season 5.

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Lady Edith commits a bold indiscretion when she dines unchaperoned with married! However necessary the footmen and other servants may have been, they were never, however, thanked. The aristocratic debutantes would apply to appear in a royal court presentation as her official entrance into society.

The character Richard Carlisle in the first season of Downton Abbey was wealthy, but he had made his money as a newspaperman.

Men removed their hats in the presence of a superior, but not for a member of the lower classes. Even among one group of servants you would have minor differences. With shocking speed, the old traditions—and traditional manners with them—became things of the past.

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Victorian Domestic Servant Hierarchy and Wage Scale: The hierarchy of British domestic servants in a large manor in and their wages. The servants did everything for their masters, and if thanks were given, it would be necessary to say them at least sixty times a day.

For the same reasons, marriage may also be a pairing of two important families. When the First World War broke out, marks of the lavish Edwardian period began to fade.

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Courtship was not, however, permitted among the servants. Controlled politeness must govern their every word and expression. The butler and housekeeper were at the head of this group in terms of dignity, authority and earnings.

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Women never removed their gloves in public. Rather than love, the reason for marriage often had to do with the acquisition or preservation of land.

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Even in casual or unplanned moments, including with friends and family, it was important to keep oneself under control. Young women were introduced to society in their mid- to late-teens, after completing their education and being deemed ready for marriage. Green, Walter Cox. Emily Post, Etiquette, Chapter XIX. Treble, Patricia. The footmen were like the peacocks of an Edwardian country house, impressive to look at and always on display, whether greeting guests at the doorstep or serving them in the dining room. The servants of Downton.

To marry, a woman had to leave domestic service, a kind of forced independence that set her to work on her own household. Alastair Bruce coaches the actors of Downton Abbey, especially those who play characters who most want to uphold the traditional way of life including Lady Mary, her grandmother the Dowager Countess of Grantham, and the butler Mr. Carsonnever to slip on this point. Lady Rose performs a curtsey for her presentation at the Royal Court. Whether for practicalities or love, marriage was eagerly awaited by young women; it represented their only chance for independence and a home of their own.

The under cook was considered an apprentice to the chef, while the kitchen maids were only assistants.

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All social interactions, formal or informal, were occasions that required a complex set of rules to govern behavior. An Edwardian hostess carefully predetermined every aspect of a dinner party—not only the menu and seating arrangements, but even topics of conversation during the meal.

Blog Press. Even the architecture made sure of it, as there were no rooms for a couple to live in and work in the same house together. The first footman served the meat, for example, the choicest course; while the second footman served a minor sauce or side.